


The J. Sheppard Multi-Verse Daycare Center

by Bam4Me



Series: The Multi-Verse Daycare Center [1]
Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe Cross Points, Autistic!John, Crack is a whole nother level though, FIRST OF MANY MANY FICS IN A SERIES, Gen, Genderqueer!John, Kink friendly, Multi-universe, Pet Play, Sequels will have MANY different pairings, This specific storyline follows the CANON crew, Universe Crossovers, john centric, slight mentions of - Freeform, this is not crack, which there will probably be more of in the future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Welcome to the multi-verse J. Sheppard daycare center. I can see, by the looks on your faces, that you all have never heard of this place before, and that’s alright, we get that all the time, universes are so infinite that it happens more than you would think. We know that you want the best love and care that you can get for your J. Sheppard, we strive to give them the best.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The J. Sheppard Multi-Verse Daycare Center

**Author's Note:**

> gatersgonewild.tumblr.com
> 
> You LITERALLY will not understand why I made this unless you watch this (fucking short if you have time to read a fic, you have time to watch this clip) clip, from Rick and Morty talking about an inter-dimensional daycare center that Rick made for his son-in-law. The idea is basically the same, but instead of for a son-in-law, it's for John Sheppard. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZyQbMQpyN4

When AG1 had first met the residents of Sngia Fi, it had been frustrating.

 

The leader had all but laughed them off the planet, but only after taking a look, and then a double take, at John. It had been confusing, and a little weird.

 

Before they had left the planet, the leader had shoved a file in his hands, still laughing so hard it looked like it had hurt, and told him to go check out the coordinates there. That had been a little discerning.

 

“I feel… violated… Did… did I have something in my teeth? Do I look funny?”

 

Rodney snorted. They were all sitting in the briefing room at the moment, filling out paperwork and waiting for Elizabeth to get there so they could talk about possibly seeing what was on the other end of the file coordinates. “The only thing funny about your looks, is your ears… so, yeah. You’re funny looking.”

 

John frowned, glaring at the other man. “Why was he laughing at me?”

 

Ronon and Teyla looked far too amused. John felt kind of like he’s been picked on a little, which is odd, because he hasn’t taken offense to teasing since he was a kid himself, and now he feels like he’s been laughed at by the whole class.

 

It was a crappy feeling.

 

***

 

“I regret being curious.”

 

The non-humanoid center worker gave John a sympathetic, but slightly patronizing look, leaning to rub at his messy hair while making an odd cooing noise. It was slightly… calming… weird. Her… he think’s it’s a her, but her skin was pretty pink and more like human skin than he thought it would be. “Oh, you can’t help that, dear, all J. Sheppard’s are curious creatures.”

 

Rodney finally stopped laughing at his friend, looking curious himself now. “Wait, oh my god, is that some type of universal thing? Do you guys have a universal list of rules for him?”

 

The daycare worker nodded, “Of course we do. J. Sheppard is the only person we deal with, so of course we have a list of rules. Curiosity is only one of many.”

 

Even John, though the irony of it all, wanted to know the others. “...can we go on that tour now? I want to see what could possibly make us all stay here docilely without planning a revolt.”

 

Ronon and Teyla looked amused again. “I think this place probably has a pretty good gun range if it’ll keep you entertained.”

 

The worker smiled… well, they think it’s a smile. “Of course, the weapon’s center is merely one of the many areas we have for keeping curious attendees complacent.”

 

John started following her with a frown, the others close behind him, not wanting to miss a moment of this. “It’s amazing, I would be offended that you think I need to be bribed to stay in the same place for longer than an hour, but it is true.”

 

Rodney nodded, “You act more like my cat than my cat does.”

 

The worker looked behind to see them curious, “Oh, this that the type of relationship you all have? If you’re into being treated as non-human, we have an area for that too-”

 

John stopped in place, eyes wide, “Woah, no, not my thing at all. Are you saying that there’s a group of people like me who like… well, pet play?”

 

She gave him a fond look. It was as though he could do nothing to annoy her. He’s tried the entire time they’ve been there, to say  _ something _ to get under her skin, and while it seemed as though the others could annoy her, everything he did was met with smiles and fondness. It was creepy. “Really, dear, there are an infinite number of universes, of course there’s a you for everything. It’s amazing what the multi-verse can create.”

 

John felt ever so slightly violated again. This place was weirding him out.

 

But… she was fucking right. He was too curious to leave.

 

She turned to him with a brilliant smile when they stopped in front of a wide door. “Would you be interested in taking a short test for us? Just for in case you decide to stay here of course.”

 

John’s eyes narrowed, but he cautiously nodded. He could  _ feel _ Rodney nearly busting a gut behind him. “Alright.”

 

She grinned, opening the door behind them and letting him pass through before her. “Of course, there aren’t any rules, just do what feels natural.”

 

The room was full of objects, as well as several other people that he could only assume were other universe versions of him, but he couldn’t be sure, because one of them was a tiny -and he means  _ tiny _ \- girl with black hair wearing a little summer dress, and another one of them looked like he might not be any older than fifteen. The others looked like him though.

 

There was a two way mirror in the room. They were giving him the pre-school test. The ones that prissy private schools gave to toddlers while watching on the other side of a two way mirror to make sure the kids weren’t too stupid or violent to let into the school. He gave the woman a narrow eyed look, but cautiously stepped into the room.

 

One of the other ‘him’s was laying on an oversized bean bag chair, and John’s pretty sure he was asleep. The female in the room came over to where he was and tapped him lightly on the side with her shoe. He didn’t move, so she did it again. “You shouldn’t be sleeping in here.”

 

He groaned, turning over a little bit on the bag, showing that he was wearing native clothing, designed in the same way that John has seen worshippers wear before. All the way down to the vivid, almost brand new, feeding scar on his chest. If anything though, he looked ages younger than John was.

 

John brought up a hand to his own chest, feeling his own, fairly new, scar there. He hasn’t known Todd for long, but he remembers what it felt like to have his own life pushed back into his own body.

 

“Fuck off.”

 

She frowned, this time giving what could be considered a light kick to his side, “Wake up, stupid. You’re not supposed to be in here anyways.”

 

“Fuck off, Diana.”

 

The girl made a noise like a teapot whistling, storming back over to the other side of the room so she could sit next to the teen, talking to him again, muttering to herself about how that’s not even her name.

 

He rolled his eyes at himself, going over to the other side of the room, leaning down to poke at an odd looking plant, blinking a few times in shock when the petals opened up, almost waving at him a little.

 

That was awesome.

 

***

 

“What exactly are you marking there?”

 

The ‘polite’ worker gave Rodney a harsh glare. It seemed she didn’t have as much patience for him as she did for John. She turned back to mark something else off on her list. “He’s autistic. Not too far on the spectrum, but he’s there. It’s one of the nearly universal laws of J. Sheppard, the majority of them are autistic, and genderqueer.”

 

Rodney looked surprised, “Huh. I never even thought of that. I assume you’re all equipped to deal with anyone on a spectrum. How do you tell if he’s genderqueer?”

 

“You ask him, politely.”

 

Ronon let out a loud snort.

 

The non-human gave them an odd look, “Does John have a significant other?”

 

Rodney suddenly had the feeling, that he knew a lot less about his best friend than he thought he did. “I… don’t know.”

 

She nodded, marking more down on her notepad. “Not many Rodney’s do, unless told.”

 

Teyla was smirking, “She seems to know you quite well, Rodney.”

 

Rodney had the annoying feeling that he would come to hate this place, and John would come to love it. As is his life.

 

***

 

As it turns out, quite a few John Sheppard’s, were narcissistic as fuck. They got along amazingly. It was amazing to watch.

 

“So… can I go back to that place at some time? It was… I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, but they did get one thing right, I am curious.”

 

Elizabeth let out a deep sigh, looking towards the corner of her office. “I’ll think about it. The brass might be interested in the fact that you’ve found a multi-verse intersection point.”

 

“Awesome.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did not understand? Watch the fucking clip like I told you to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZyQbMQpyN4
> 
> gatersgonewild.tumblr.com


End file.
